Being in Balance: 9 Principles for Creating Habits to Match Your Desire
Since I’m talking about balance and self care this month, I would be remiss if I didn’t take the opportunity to write about a book by one of my favorite authors, the esteemed Dr. Wayne W. Dyer.
Dr. Dyer passed away in 2015, however his spirit lives on in the hearts and souls of those who resonated with his thoughts, ideas, and advice. I count myself among them, as his books and recordings were a large part of my own spiritual growth when I was just starting out. They continue to be so to this day.
In Being in Balance, Dyer combines his own sage advice with quotes and teachings from leaders who helped him along on his own spiritual journey. He uses these ideas to help the reader restore themselves to their natural balance.
How this book helped me find balance
I began reading it during a time of new beginnings. I had moved past (most of) the resentment I was holding for my ex-husband. Celebrating my one-year anniversary at my new job, I was fairly well established at the company. And I had just moved from a temporary apartment in a dodgy area of the city into a townhouse located in a community with a very warm and welcoming vibe. Texas was finally starting to feel like “home” to me. But now what?
I had closed a lot of chapters on what I didn’t want in my life, and now it was time for me to focus on what I did want.
I was staring at a blank canvas
When this happens, it is incredibly easy to fall into a routine of “get up, go to work, get home, go to bed.” But I wanted to be more deliberate about my future life, and so many of the teachings in Dyer’s book resonated with me. They made so much sense – on a soul level – that I knew them to be truths. And they caused me to care enough to act upon them and focus my thinking in the most positive ways.
Just scanning some of the chapter titles gives you an idea of the type of impact Dyer’s ideations can have on one’s life:
An Infinity of Forests Lies Dormant Within the Dreams of One Acorn
There’s More to Life than Making It Go Faster
You Can’t Discover Light by Analyzing the Darkness
Although I read this book during a transitionary period, it provides universal wisdom and advice, and can serve as a formidable guide no matter what your current point life, or what your state-of-mind.
Book Recommendation: Being in Balance by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
Being in Balance is currently on sale for only $1.99 in the Amazon Kindle Store!*
In this episode we welcome special guests Bear and Wendy Griffin from Artio Artisanals to discuss how they incorporate Modern Paganism into their lives and livelihood. We chat about Pagan traditions, core beliefs, and how Paganism has brought them many blessings. Visit http://artioartisanals.com to learn more – Hail Artio!
The words work/life balance first started being tossed around in the 1980s when the women’s movement really took off. Women were hitting the workforce in droves, but were still expected to keep things up to par at home. Many women seemed to “have it all” but in reality, they were sacrificing their own well-being by trying to “be it all”.
Things haven’t changed much in 30 years, have they? At least not with the women I know! So many of my clients are spending so much time making sure things are running smoothly at the office and at home, they have no time to rest.
Now with millions of people working remotely on a long-term or permanent basis, it is even more difficult to separate the two.
But balancing your office life with your home life is only as difficult as you let it be. As with many things, it all amounts to expectations. You may start by asking yourself…
What expectations am I putting on myself? What expectations are others imposing on me?
These expectations may or may not be realistic, but either way, eliminating the habit of trying to have it all, or take care of everything and everyone is only going to result in disappointment and a very unhealthy “you”. And chances are, you are already dropping the ball somewhere – so why not be more mindful of what you’re actually dropping? And where?
Finding work/life balance has many benefits
When you seek to obtain work/life balance, not only will you find yourself being more productive at both places, you’ll also be giving people the gift of your undivided attention. When you successfully separate work and home life, you’re allowing both to get the best version of you.
How to achieve work/life balance when working from home
Have a designated “office” – even if it’s a TV tray and folding chair
Set up an area specifically for work – whether it’s an entire room or just a desk in the corner of the living room. Keep all your work equipment and papers there, and especially your to-do list.
Ensure that your family knows that when you’re in your designated workspace you’re off limits. But also make sure you take short breaks every 1-2 hours to address any needs they may have that can’t wait until the end of your workday.
No matter how tempting it may be, refrain from using your kitchen table or living room sofa as your workspace. Keep those areas only for use during leisure/family time!
Close up shop at the end of the work day
Literally purchase or even just make a sign that says CLOSED and place it on top of your computer at quitting time. I recommend shutting down your computer at the end of each work day so you aren’t tempted to view it during family time.
It can be really tempting to check work emails at home, and vice versa! But again, your goal here is to find balance, right? I recommend setting up your work email with a different app from your personal email. Check work email during work hours, and personal email during personal hours – and don’t cross over!
What can you delegate or outsource?
Assign more tasks to others, whether that means giving your assistant more responsibility or imposing a new family rule that everyone does their own laundry. Not only are you freeing up yourself for more important things, you’re giving them opportunities to learn and grow.
Start getting your groceries from a shopping service. Subscribe to a home-delivered meal plan. Hire a lawn service, a house cleaning service, house cleaners… there are apps and services for all kinds of tasks that will help you free up time by outsourcing. Why spend time scrubbing a toilet when you could be cuddling with your kids?
Most of all, abandon perfectionism
Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t “get it all done” – some days you don’t have to be “good” – you just have to be “good enough”. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself and always remember, you’re only human!
no matter how hard you try, things just don’t seem to go the way you want them to?
you’re trying to steer a ship that’s just constantly out of your control?
Here’s a news flash…
The Universe is in control… and it’s all going to be OK
The Universe is ALWAYS in control. The good news is – it’s always going to turn out for the best. So instead of fretting about how things are unfolding, sit back, relax, and let the Universe take over. It’s not your responsibility! Just put that ship on cruise control, and enjoy the ride.
Affirmation: I allow the Universe’s perfect balance to flow to, and through me
Say this affirmation out loud three times to make it your truth.
When a person is in balance, they have better control of their emotions, are more calm, and generally happier.
The Universal Law of Balance says that If we have too much of one thing, we do not have enough of another. When the scales are tipped too much to one side, the other side will suffer.
Getting back into balance is a form of self-care.
Signs you are out of balance
Are you experiencing any of these indications of imbalance?
Illness, fatigue, just generally feeling “out of sorts”
Dizziness, clumsiness, tripping over “nothing”, dropping things
“Checking out” – not caring
Insomnia, excessive mind chatter
Migraines or chronic headaches
No time for socializing
Feeling like you’re losing control of your life
Snapping at people, short tempered
If you have a medical condition, seek the care of a health professional. The information in this article is not intended to be, nor should it be considered as medical advice.
Here’s how to bring yourself back into balance
Having self-awareness that you are out of alignment is the first step – but it’s also important to stay mindful and do a self check-in throughout the process.
Dedicate some time to analyzing the areas of your life that are out of balance, and write them down along with their counterparts. For example:
too much work = not enough fun too much reality = not enough mystery too much order = not enough creativity too much giving = not enough receiving too much clarity = not enough dreaming too much intensity = not enough frivolity too much predictability = not enough spontaneity ↔ This goes both ways! ↔
You may opt to put your list up as a self-reminder, or include your thoughts in a journal. Either way, putting the information on paper turns a thought or idea into something tangible, bringing it to life.
Now that you know the areas you need to focus on, take some time to think about how you can bring more of what you’re lacking into your life. You may have to get creative a bit, but don’t let your fears keep you from breaking outside the box.
Take deliberate action
Now that you have a plan, put it into fruition. The most important thing to keep in mind is to be deliberate about it. When we’re out of balance, it’s often because we are on “coast”. Being deliberate about being balanced is going to be crucial.
Lather, rinse, repeat
Being out of balance is a chronic situation. You’ll have to keep repeating the process, and as time goes on you may find that you become imbalanced in different ways than you had in the past.
I recommend setting a reminder on your calendar based on a timeline that works for you. I personally use the solstices and equinoxes to re-evaluate my own balance level. Because these days align with the change of seasons and the astrological calendar, their timing is perfect for making self-care adjustments.
If you think you might need to do this more often, you could make it part of your new moon manifesting ritual. Or do your self-check during one of the quarter moons when it is perfectly balanced between light and dark.
How to know if you’re out of balance and what to do about it!
It’s October so we start out talking about our favorite ghost movies. Then we delve into everything about ghosts: How to know if you have them, how to communicate with them, how to get rid of them, and what NOT to do! Jen rounds out the show with ghost stories from her three favorite haunted places: The Winchester Mansion in San Jose, California, The Hotel Monte Vista in Flagstaff, Arizona, and The Alamo in San Antonio, Texas.
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It’s important to take time out for self-care so you can be the best version of yourself.
Many of my clients spend so much time caring for others that they often neglect their own self-care. I find that this is typical for women, especially empaths and those who have a role as a mother. Besides working full time, they care for a household, children, a partner, pets, and often their elderly parents. By the end of each day they are completely exhausted and stressed out.
It makes me sad to think that these women have nobody caring for their needs. I often remind them that if nobody is looking out for them, they need to take charge and look out for themselves.
After conversing with one client recently, I suggested she hire a caretaker to come to her home and spend time with her ill father for a couple hours each weekend so she could get out and enjoy some time alone, enjoying a favorite hobby. She did some research and found a local organization that will do this at no charge. She thanked me profusely for the suggestion, saying it’s been like a lifesaver for her sanity. I could see the relief on her face, it was as if she was 5 years younger!
What can you outsource right now, will will allow you to take time for yourself?
I take time to practice self-care because I know it’s important to my wellbeing.
Say the affirmation above three times out loud to make it your truth.
DIY holistic wellness tips for a well-rounded self-care practice
Holistic wellness means caring for your whole self: Physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. To ensure your well-rounded health, I’m sharing some of my favorite tips for self-care.
11 ways to practice self-care
1. Do a heart chakra healing meditation
The heart chakra is located in your heart center, and is associated with unconditional love. When you meditate, do so with the intention of healing your heart chakra: finding forgiveness, unconditional love, and acceptance of yourself and others. Although a self-love meditation is awesome for this specific purpose, any type of meditation is fantastic for self-care.
2. Make a date with your “self”
Get your calendar out and set one hour aside per week, just to focus on you. That might mean doing a facial mask while soaking in the tub, getting a mani-pedi, reading a favorite novel, venturing out for a nature walk, or dinner and a movie by yourself. I enjoy doing these types of things alone because I don’t have to worry about having to share my fries, negotiate which movie to see, or who is going to drive. I strive to have a balance of things that keep me mentally stimulated, and those that are more indulgent “fluff”.
Ensure you have sufficient time away from your screen to shift your focus away from work, stress, the news, social media drama, and electromagnetic fields (EMFs). By cutting down on screen time, you’re likely to find that you sleep better and have less stress throughout the day.
4. Be OK with being alone
You cannot be dependent upon others for your own happiness. Especially if you are in a committed relationship, you need to have your own identity so you can contribute to its growth and avoid stunting your own. The healthier your relationship with yourself, the healthier your relationship with others is going to be. If you’re struggling with self-confidence and your identity, hypnosis is an effective way to overcome this.
As found in many notable studies, the amount of quality sleep you get affects your ability to learn, memory skills, mood, and overall physical and mental health. Most adults need between 7-9 hours of restful sleep per night to maintain a healthy balance. Having trouble sleeping? Try one of these crystal recommendations.
6. Care for your body by consuming pure, healthy foods
We are so fortunate to live in a time when organic, free-range, grass-fed food and personal products are widely available, even in traditional grocery stores. Most often these healthy, natural foods are priced reasonably, and I’ve even seen where they are sometimes cheaper than their ‘regular’ versions. Consuming seasonal food from local sources will be fresher and healthier as well helping support the farmers and small businesses in your community.
7. Get zhuzhed up, even if you have nowhere to go
I’ll be the first to admit that I need improvement in this area. In all honestly, if it’s a “day off” from clients and I’ve got nothing going on, you’ll probably catch me sans makeup, wearing an old, holey t-shirt and leggings. But I’m trying to get better about this because I know that when I look good, I feel good! So you’re my witness… I’m vowing to, every day, apply at least minimal makeup and dress in an outfit that I look good in, even if I have nowhere to go. Major props to my fabulous friend Jackie (IG @jackiesellsmiami) for her inspiring post.
8. Drink your water!
According to the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine, the average recommendation for water consumption is 2.7 liters (91 oz.) for women and 3.7 liters (125 oz.) for men. Of course, there are other factors to consider, but as a general rule drinking your “8 glasses” will cover it.
What kind of water are you drinking? I prefer to drink pure spring water, because it’s natural and from the Earth, and doesn’t have the drug fluoride which is added to most public tap water.
9. Make time for spiritual growth
That may take the form of meditation or prayer, reading something from your favorite guru, walking a labyrinth, or any other activity that will help you to grow spiritually. When I was first starting out on my spiritual journey, I attended development classes organized by a local medium. Not only did I learn from an experienced teacher, I was also connecting with other like-minded people in my community. My Spiritual Development Program combines hypnosis with activities targeted to your specific goals.
10. Release what no longer serves you
This can take the form of physically decluttering old clothing, books, décor, and any other possessions that no longer “spark joy”. But it’s also important to do a healthy emotional release – getting rid of any feelings of guilt, insecurity, jealousy, mistrust, lack of confidence, and other self-harming emotions. My favorite ways to accomplish this are using positive affirmations and hypnosis.
11. Get physical!
I’ll be honest, I am not a fan of “exercise” and you’d never find me in spinning class doing a hard-core workout. Most days I’d rather just lay on the couch and be lazy, yet I don’t really like the idea of having it become a repeated pattern. I know that making a regular practice to do something that moves muscles and joints is the best choice for my health, so I’ve found a couple non-demanding things that I actually find enjoyable:
Yin Yoga is a practice where most of the poses are floor-based and held for up to 4 minutes or more. It’s not “easy”, but it is slow-moving and each time I do it, afterwards I feel like I’ve had a massage: relaxed clarity.
Dance party for 1. Turn up the tunes and dance like no-one is watching… because NO ONE IS. Except maybe your judgmental Corgi.
When I picture Qigong in my head, I visualize a grassy area filled with loosely-clothed senior citizens, moving slowly to some meditative music while a voiceover reads off a disclaimer about the side effects of the latest prescription drug. But once I got over my pre-conceived notions (translate: fear that practicing it will make me an “old person”), I realized that it’s actually a tremendous way to combine healthy stretches, breathing techniques, and meditation.
What’s your favorite way to care for your “self”? Let me know in the comments!
This week we start off chatting about two of Jen’s favorite community projects (movements?), then we take a deep dive into the Houses of Astrology. The twelve Houses represent our life experiences, and our individual planet and zodiac sign placements will tell our unique life stories. Before listening, you might want to check out some of our show resources: